| Series: Andromeda | |
| Episode: 2.09: "Into the Labyrinth" | |
transcribed by: lilycat | |
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Notes: It is preferable that you provide a link rather than directly copy this transcript to your site. However, if you really want to, please credit jamesmarsters-justmagic.com and keep the rest of this header intact. Notes: This episode and others in the series are widely available to buy on DVD. Studio: Contender Entertainment Group. DVD Release Date: 14 April, 2003. Run Time: 245 minutes Notes: All spellings of Alien names/planets/spacecraft etc. have been checked online using the Andromeda encyclopaedia at http://www.ladymaigrey.com/atoz/Bn.html. | |
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Cast (Guests): |
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Black Screen. Fade to: "To A God, A Wall Is But A Line On The Page. We Are All Naked, Seen Beyond Seeing." Wayfinder Hasturi A.K.A 'The Mad Perseid'. 217 AFC Cut to an external shot of the Andromeda spacecraft. Scene - Interior of the ship. A party is in progress. Alien delegates. General Chatter. Camera focuses on HUNT and BEKA walking into shot. HUNT: And you explained it to them, politely? BEKA: I even used one-syllable words. HUNT: Ah, condescension. BEKA: That's four syllables. A woman, SATRINA, is watching the pair pass through the party. BEKA and HUNT stop and observe the delegates as they speak. HUNT: A mutual defence path among the charter signatories does make sense, but you'll have to be a little patient with the Castalians, they do have the right to a little paranoia. They look over at a pair of aliens in the crowd who are talking together. BEKA: Yeah, yeah. Let one little president get assassinated and you never hear the end of it. Cut to SATRINA, the woman who was previously watching BEKA and HUNT. She is approached by HARPER. HARPER: Is that a data port in your neck, or are you happy to see me? SATRINA: Data ports, acoustic enhancer, (lifting hair to reveal data port) self contained memory. (smiling) And that's just for starters. Satrina Leander. (reaches to shake HARPERs hand.) Archivist for the FDA Information Directory. HARPER: A Chanté. (leans to kiss SATRINAs hand.) Harper. Seamus Harper. Super-genius. SATRINA: (laughs) So modest. HARPER: Yeah, well. Nobody's perfect, but I see you've been working on it. SATRINA: What I've been working on is getting an interview with one of Captain Hunt's crew. Do you have time for a few questions? ROMMIE: (suspiciously) I have a question, who are you and what are you doing here? SATRINA: I told your friend. I'm an archivist, and the Commonwealth Public Information Act guarantees me full access to all diplomatic events. ROMMIE: Well, there are many things I miss about the Commonwealth. The Public Information Act isn't one of them. HARPER: (smoothly) Ladies, ladies, please don't fight. There's more than enough Harper for everyone. And if we can work something out between the three of us- ROMMIE: Sometimes there's too much Harper for his own good. ROMMIE walks off. HARPER starts after her. HARPER: Rommie, Rommie, wait - (stops) suit yourself. HARPER: My sister, she's a little uh- He turns to continue but SATRINA has gone. He turns again and faces a woman with pale purple skin, TRANCE HARPER: (to TRANCE.) God hates me. HARPER starts to drink from his glass as TRANCE speaks. TRANCE: Don't take it personally. HARPER: Yeah, yeah. HARPER leaves, passing TRANCE his empty glass. HUNT walks past TRANCE and sees the glass. He stops and speaks to her. HUNT: Woah easy on that stuff Trance, it is for the guests. TRANCE: I was just- HUNT: Oh, I was just kidding - enjoy yourself. A beep, and a voice comes over the comms system: ROMMIE. ROMMIE: Dylan, we're being hailed by a Nietzchean transport - Sabra-Jaguar Pride. It's requesting permission to dock. HUNT: Great. (to TRANCE) Party crashers. HUNT looks suspicious as he walks off leaving TRANCE looking confused. Scene - a corridor outside a docking station. ROMMIE is stood to one side of a door. ROMMIE: May I present Field Marshal Bolivar. Archduke- BOLIVAR: (entering through doorway) Archduke of the Unified Sabra-Jaguar Pride. Regent of the twin moons of Avox and Ivox, Chancellor of Kingu (dismissively) I have a few others but we are among friends. Call me Charlemagne. And you (turns to HUNT) - would be Dylan, yes? HUNT is about to speak when ROMMIE interrupts, annoyed at the informality. ROMMIE: Captain Hunt. HUNT: (amused) You'll have to forgive Andromeda, she's a stickler for protocol. (to BOLIVAR) You see weren't on our guest list. BOLIVAR: (rolls eyes) My aide-de-camp's fault, no doubt. I'll make sure he's properly shot. Still, I would hate to let a minor diplomatic faux pas ruin this once in a lifetime opportunity. BOLIVAR claps HUNT on the shoulder. HUNT: Which is? BOLIVAR: This commonwealth of yours. Sign me up. HUNT is suspicious and amused. Scene - HARPER is stood in front of a bank of computer equipment. He has a scanner in his hand. What looks like an ultrasound of his stomach is showing on a screen. HARPER: Hello, family. Little Magog eggs. Just the fourteen of us, nice and cosy. His door beeps. HARPER: Go away. It beeps again. HARPER looks annoyed. HARPER: (to himself) Alright - pants, pants, pants. He finds a blanket to wrap himself in and opens the door. Seeing SATRINA, he looks pleased. HARPER: (smiling) Uh, Satrina! SATRINA walks into HARPERs room seductively. SATRINA: I was hoping we could start our interview. HARPER: Uh, now? Okay, what would you like to know? SATRINA: Question (removes HARPERs blanket) one. She grabs HARPERs head and kisses him. It goes on for a while and she pushes him into the counter. HARPER breaks the kiss. HARPER: Um, I can't believe I'm doing this, but uh, there's something I gotta tell ya. (quickly) I'm infested with Magog larvae. SATRINA looks sympathetic. HARPER: Yeah, I'm taking medication to keep them dormant, but who knows how long that'll last - for all I know- SATRINA puts a finger over his lips to stop him talking. SATRINA: That's horrible. I bet you'd do anything to get rid of them. HARPER: Anything. SATRINA: (laughs) I'm so glad you said that. SATRINAs hand disappears inside HARPERs stomach and pulls out a larva. SATRINA: That's one. HARPER: (stunned) Huh. Opening credits. Voiceover: He is the last guardian of a fallen civilisation. A hero from another time. Faced with a universe in chaos, Dylan Hunt recruits an unlikely crew and sets out to reunite the galaxies. From the star ship Andromeda, hope lives again. SATRINA crushes the Magog larva and drops it on the floor. HARPER looks disgusted. She is all business now. SATRINA: Lets keep this simple. HARPER: How did you do that? SATRINA: You once had possession of a special library collection from the All Systems University. (pushes HARPER onto a couch) Give it to me - and I'll take all the eggs out of you. HARPER: (pained) You wouldn't happen to know a big bounty hunter guy named Jeger? Works for this red, glowing-eyed, shadowy dude, you know--enemy of life as we know it. SATRINA: Shh. My interview. Remember? I ask the questions. Now, do you want the eggs out, or not? HARPER: (regretfully) You'd better go. He tries to get up. SATRINA pushes him back. She is straddling him. SATRINA: Just like that you're telling me to leave and let those Magog babies claw out of your belly? Cutting you. Eating their way free- HARPER: Okay, okay okay. Spare me the visuals. Let me guess, if I don't do an errand for old red eyes, I die a slow agonising death for me, right? SATRINA nods. HARPER: You know for someone so hot, you're a real charmer. SATRINA: I'm offering you a happy ending Seamus. I'd take it if I were you. SATRINA kisses HARPER briefly, stands, and leaves. Scene - external view of a smaller space craft, the Maru. Cut to inside where TRANCE and HARPER are talking. TRANCE: You want to access the All Systems University database? Don't you remember what happened the last time you had that thing? HARPER: (whining) Trance give me some credit, I'm not gonna stick it my brain again. I just wanna take a little peek at it. TRANCE: (busy at the computer screen) So why do you need my help? HARPER: Because I can't remember where I put it. I must have made myself forget somehow, or maybe I hit my head. And you (walks over to TRANCE) can find anything when you put your mind to it. TRANCE: (looks at HARPER and walks away) I'm sorry Harper I can't. HARPER: (sarcastic) Can't, or won't? He follows TRANCE to another computer bank. TRANCE: Why don't we review the facts here. A Perseid comes to Andromeda, downloads a library including information about the evil mastermind behind the Magog into Harper's brain. Scary bounty hunter Jeger phases through walls, fires point singularity bombs and injects a laser probe into Harper's skull. Harper narrowly escapes with his life - the end. Not a very nice story. HARPER: I'm still a little murky with the whole 'can't versus won't' dichotomy. TRANCE: Well, take your pick, whichever one you like- it still doesn't explain why you want to take a peek at this library? HARPER: It's a, um, going away present. For…someone I'd really like to go away. TRANCE: (looks at HARPER) Harper I really don't know what you're up to, but someone has tried to kill you for this once before - what makes you think they won't try it again? HARPER: (patronising) Don't worry your pretty purple head, I've got everything under control. Thanks for your help. HARPER walks away in disgust. Cut to him entering his room again. HARPER: (to self) Alright, think. Think. Alright where would you have put it? Well, someplace secure, where no one else would find it - especially not glowing-eyes Magog god and his incredible wall-walking henchmen. (stops) Wait a minute - that's it! He starts moving things about in a machine. Cut to Andromeda corridor. BOLIVAR and HUNT are walking purposefully down it. BOLIVAR: I must admit, Captain - this latest manoeuvre of yours is quite clever. Interim mutual defence pact, in lieu of an actual commonwealth. My wife told me - you think like a Nietzchean. They stop and HUNT turns to BOLIVAR. HUNT: Well Elssbett flatters me. And so do you. BOLIVAR: (disinterested) In that case I'll skip the usual diplomatic niceties and get to the point. There are at least three good reasons why you shouldn't let the Sabra-Jaguar pride join your new Commonwealth. (holds fingers up to illustrate his point) We are renowned for our treachery. We are at war with the Drago-Kazov pride, and we will constantly remind you of your genetic inferiority. Now, here's the up side. We are renowned for our treachery, we are at war with the Drago-Kazov pride, and did I mention we command the third-largest fleet in the known worlds? HUNT: That is a very persuasive offer. I'm surprised Elssbett didn't make it herself. BOLIVAR: She's pregnant with our first child. And before you start feeling paternal, I checked. It's mine. ROMMIE looks confused at this new information. BOLIVAR: Well, I'm off to take a massage - let me know what you think. I'm in no hurry (turns to leave). ROMMIE: 'I checked, it's mine?' HUNT looks apologetic and leaves without explaining. Cut to HARPER, sat inside what looks like an engineering shaft. He looks frustrated. HARPER: Man, how hard can it be to find one little- There is a window and he turns as HUNT brings a tour of visitors past. HUNT: In case of emergency, the ship can be piloted from the gunnery nodes. BOLIVAR: Emergency. You mean in the event that the command deck crew is reduced to a fine red mist and splattered across the walls in a bloody mural? HUNT: That would qualify, yes. HOHNE: Fascinating. And do such emergencies happen with a degree of frequency, or are they a rare occurrence? HUNT: (spotting HARPER and moving towards him) Not as rare as I would like. Hello Mr Harper. Anything I need to know? HARPER: (guilty) Not a thing. You're the captain. All-seeing, all-knowing. It's fine. HARPER walks away quickly. BOLIVAR watches as he leaves. BOLIVAR: (to HUNT) Excitable little fellow, isn't he? HUNT: (considering) Yes, he is. (turns to carry on the tour) And we are walking. TOUR GUIDE: We will be touring the slip-stream cores next. Cut to HARPER entering another shaft. He watches the tour pass. TOUR GUIDE: Any of you whose physiologies might have problems with anti-proton production might want to drop out of that one. HOHNE: (appearing at window to peer at HARPER) Mr Harper? HARPER: (stressed) It's frickin' Grand Central Space Station around here… Chief Technical Advisor Hohne, fancy meeting you here. HOHNE: I'm so happy to catch you alone. I just wanted to convey the Sinti governments gratitude for your help with the singularity experiments last year - HARPER: (sarcastic) Yeah, yeah - Uh, thanks for the thumbs-up but if you don't mind? Kind of in a hurry - HOHNE: Of course. Now I've been led to understand you've engaged in many other fascinating scientific endeavours. Perhaps if you could provide us with records of your activities? HARPER: Records? (realises) Records! Of course! (standing) Hohne, from one genius to another (grabs him) you're frickin' brilliant! HOHNE: (pleased) Well, yes. But I still wanted to, uh…perhaps later. HARPER leaves. Cut to HARPER, plugged into a computer system by a device on his neck. HARPER: Alright, (rubs hands) and away we go. Special effects make it clear we are entering the computer. HARPER materialises inside a virtual computer (Andromeda's AI) and looks around. HARPER: Alright. Let's take a look at any records made by Seamus Zelazny Harper, recorded between 9/13 and 9/15 CY10, 087. A VIRTUAL HARPER materialises in front of him. VIRTUAL HARPER: Hey, Harper, how ya doin? If you're watching this prerecorded-prerecorded-prerecorded - I'm just kidding- devastatingly handsome holographic message, it' a good bet that you're looking for the All Systems University Library. Now, if I know me - and I know me pretty well, not a bad guy actually, it probably involves some quest for wealth, power and babes. HARPER: (unimpressed) Try curing a Magog infestation. And only one babe. VIRTUAL HARPER: But! While I salute my ingenuity and admire my determination the bottom line is, I don't trust me any farther than I can throw me. So, adios a monos. VIRTUAL HARPER disappears. HARPER tries to talk to him but is forced out through the computer and back to reality. He is in pain and unplugs his neck device. HARPER: Oh, that hurts. (touches neck) I gotta get this thing spark proof. VIRTUAL HARPER blows smoke of pretend guns from the computer screen. VIRTUAL HARPER: And stay out. HARPER: (sighs) Now I know why people hate me. SATRINA steps out from her hiding place as HARPER leaves. She looks sneaky. Cut to the corridor, where SATRINA is now talking to HUNT. SATRINA: I can't thank you enough for your tour. I tried to get your AI to give me one but she was…uncooperative. HUNT: It's part of her job to be suspicious of people that ask questions about our business. SATRINA: Particularly women? The two have reached HUNTs quarters. He goes to sit at a counter. HUNT: (sitting) Really? You know I hadn't noticed. SATRINA: Can I offer you something to drink? HUNT: Uh, I thought I was the one playing host, here. SATRINA: (getting closer to HUNT) Nothing like turning the tables on a handsome man…I always say. HUNT: Ahah. (shakes head) Who are you? And what are you doing on my ship? SATRINA: Your AI asked me the same thing. HUNT: Well, we think alike. SATRINA: I suppose I'd better tell you the truth. HUNT: Truth is good. SATRINA: The truth is I've really just been looking for an excuse. To get the Andromeda's captain in compromising position. How's this one? SATRINA leans in to kiss HUNT. HUNT kisses back. HUNT: It's one of my top five compromising positions. You know unfortunately I think it's time that we conclude our little tour. Now I probably should have my head examined for leaving, but I am gonna go, and you can just enjoy the rest of your stay. HUNT leaves and SATRINA dematerialises, presumably to teleport somewhere. She reappears in another corridor. SATRINA: It's nearly time. Our ships generators are operating at full capacity (walks towards four aliens). They can feed you all the power you'll need. More than enough, actually. Walking towards the aliens (one GREEN, one BLUE, one WHITE and one RED) SATRINA punches a button on her handheld computer and shows the aliens the screen. SATRINA: These are your targets. (images of HUNT, BOLIVAR, and HOHNE flash up) Watch them. Study them. And when the time comes? Kill them. Cut to TYR, running down a corridor and slows to a stop as he passes BOLIVAR. He turns to look at him. BOLIVAR: That looks exhausting. I need to rest, just from watching you. TYR: (walking towards BOLIVAR) Charlemagne Bolivar, I presume. The pair meet and raise their hands in a Nietzchean salute. BOLIVAR: Kodiak Pride. Did it ever occur to your people that you may have been taking this whole physical perfection thing a bit too seriously? Granted, the Kodiaks were strong, healthy, attractive - and such imaginative hairstyles - but in the end, what good did it to you? TYR: Well, since pride Jaguar refused to stand with us against the Drago-Kazov, none. BOLIVAR: Exactly. Instead of breeding for such obvious attributes, your people should have concentrated on more important things - treachery, cunning - proper table manners. TYR: What would you like, Jaguar? BOLIVAR: The usual. Hundreds of grandchildren, utter domination of known space, and the pleasure of hearing that all my enemies have died in terrible, highly improbable accidents that cannot be connected to me. And you? TYR: (laughs) The usual. BOLIVAR: (looks TYR up and down) I have several sisters, you know. I'm sure at least one of them might measure up to Kodiak standards. TYR: And in exchange for your generous invitation into your family? BOLIVAR: Love, gratitude, and the warm feeling that comes with making a new friend. TYR: I will bear your offer in mind. (looks BOLIVAR up and down) Good day. TYR walks off, stopping when BOLIVAR speaks again. BOLIVAR: you know I recently heard the most interesting rumour. The body of Drago-Museveni had disappeared from Enga's Redoubt, and the Drago-Kazov have replaced it with a fake. Had you heard anything about that? TYR shakes his head. TYR: I don't follow gossip. BOLIVAR: Probably disinformation. Still, it was so unfair how they… stole those bones from the Kodiak in the first place. (innocently) I'm sure they'll get their just rewards in the end. We all do. The pair part. Cut to - HARPER splicing some wiring. TRANCE enters the room. TRANCE: Harper, what are you doing? HARPER: Uh, nothing. Just working. TRANCE: It looks like you're trying to find the Library. HARPER: And what if I am, Trance? TRANCE: I told you, it's not a good idea- HARPER: Trance, do me a favour, will ya? Either tell me why it's such a bad idea, help me in such a way that will satisfy your mysterious heebie-jeebie agenda or butt out! Take your pick. (pauses) Anything? TRANCE leaves, upset. HARPER: That's what I thought. HARPER plugs himself into his neck device and closes his eyes. He materialises in the virtual computer with VIRTUAL HARPER. VIRTUAL HARPER: Harper! Back so soon. HARPER: Alright, I know you're an interactive programme, so why don't you give me a little hint. VIRTUAL HARPER: Ah, you're probably trying to get me to give you a hint - sorry - no can do. To quote someone we both know and love so much, the Library is closed. It's too dangerous. Uh, muy peligroso. That's why I erased all records of it and substituted this handy dandy VR simulacrum of moi. The thing is, if I really really, really need that information, I have the utmost confidence in my ability to find it anyway. I work well under pressure. HARPER has noticed a badge on VIRTUAL HARPERs shirt, depicting a stylized sun. HARPER: Bite me, me. VIRTUAL HARPER: One more thing - do not, under any circumstances, tell Trance what you are planning. Ah, she's probably not too interested in uh, anyone seeing that data again. HARPER: Now I tell me. VIRTUAL HARPER disappears. Cut to - the interior of the Maru. HARPER turns as the door opens. He raises his weapon as HOHNE enters. HOHNE: (raising hands) Oh, dear. Please don't shoot me. I see that you've reverse-rifled your weapon. Does it give you better muzzle velocity? HARPER: Tell you what, I'll give you a demonstration, if you don't tell me what you're doing on this ship. HOHNE: Ah, right. Imagine party A once misplaced item B in location C. Now strictly speaking location C is in motion, so we should grab it as a line in a three dimensional array- HARPER: Imagine bullet D leaving weapon E, and entering the brain through the chin of Perseid F. HOHNE: O-oh. HARPER: U-uh, G, for goodbye. HOHNE: Let me be direct (shows grey insignia on his wrist) do you recognise this symbol? HARPER: (surprised) You're a librarian? HOHNE: Please, not so loud. For three centuries, the All Systems University Special Collections Division has existed in secret - working throughout the known worlds to preserve knowledge. All in preparation for the commonwealth's restoration. HARPER: (disbelieving) A secret librarian? HARPER holsters his weapon. HOHNE nods. HOHNE: Several months ago, one of our agents discovered a quite exciting, or some would say incendiary, data archive during an archaeological dig. As soon as he contacted me I instructed him to bring it to the nearest safe place. Which just happened to be your ship. He gave you the archive, yes? HARPER: What if he did? HOHNE: It would be quite dangerous to whomever possessed it - I on the other hand, would gladly take it back to Sinti for safe-keeping. HARPER: Oh, you would, would ya? HOHNE: I don't need an answer now, I'll check with you later. HOHNE leaves. HARPER: Right. Cut to - ROMMIE, BEKA and HUNT are walking down a corridor. HUNT: So you're saying the Castalians won't budge at all on this? BEKA: I could say that talks with the fish people are floundering (off HUNTs look) … but that would be wrong. ROMMIE: On the other hand, Scheherezade and Winnipeg Drifts are salivating over the new markets an alliance with Sabra-Jaguar would open up. BEKA: So what do we do? HUNT: Well, if I knew that I wouldn't be pacing through the corridors. Cut to - HARPER who turns as SATRINA enter the room he is in. SATRINA: You know, I'm beginning to think your heart isn't in this. HARPER: Technically, my heart is in my chest, and I'd like to keep it that way, thank you very much. SATRINA: You decided to take me up on my offer. My employer will be thrilled. I told him he should have sent me the first time. HARPER: So, you and Jeger do work for the same team. SATRINA: (walking closer to HARPER) There are several teams. You could say Jeger's group is the stick. HARPER: Uh, which makes you the… SATRINA: (seductively) …the carrot. SATRINA kisses HARPER. He kisses back until she pushes him away. SATRINA turns and walks away. SATRINA: Trot faster little horsey. HARPER makes horsey noises. SATRINA dematerialises. HARPER: (to himself) Phew, okay. Back to work Harper. Alright Satrina. (grabs gadget) What is your little secret? HARPER walks to console and speaks commands. HARPER: Transmitter. Power receiver. Field generator. (to self) Man she's got nice toys. But how do they work? Cut to corridor. ROMMIE and HARPER are walking along in conversation. ROMMIE: Phase density shifting? Why do you want to know about that? HARPER: It's just for a (coughs) project I'm working on with Hohne and the other chinhead Perseids. You remember that bounty hunter Jeger guy? We're trying to figure out how he walked through walls. ROMMIE: Well, I suppose he could have altered his density…. No his molecules would have lost cohesion. More likely he employed tesseracts. HARPER: Tesseracts? ROMMIE: Mm hm. HARPER: Right. Refresh my memory, oh benevolent mistress of knowledge. ROMMIE: Tesseract. An area of space warped across multiple dimensions. A person who could create and navigate tesseracts would be like a three dimensional being interacting with the second dimension. Now they'd still have to worry about gravity, but they could move through solid matter, transit vast distances, even turn space inside out. The power requirements would be staggering but the possi … HARPER: Ah right -tesseracts. Thanks for loaning me your quantum gigachips. (to man in corridor) Er, ambassador? (to ROMMIE) Have fun diplomacising. HARPER leaves ROMMIE to the ambassador ROMMIE: Oh joy. HARPER: (to self) But how to record a signature is … HARPER is interrupted by TRANCE TRANCE: Harper, you're still looking for that you-know-what aren't you? Even after I told you not to. HARPER: Trance. You wanna be my friend? Stay out of my business and I'll stay out of yours. TRANCE: Fine. But you're making a big mistake. TRANCE walks away. As she walks away, HARPER turns and notices a stylised sun tattoo on her left shoulder. Flashback to the sun on VIRTUAL HARPERs badge. HARPER: A sun? I hid it in a sun? How the hell did I do that? Cut to shot of spacecraft leaving the Andromeda. Interior, HARPER is strapped into a pilot's seat. HARPER: Anyway, I'll be back before you miss me. Course, who knows how long that would be? Besides, I gotta rustle up a load of parts and with me gone, there's a much lower risk of a major diplomatic incident. Harper out. (switches off comms.)(to console) Transmit message. TRANCE: Harper, what are you doing? HARPER: (quietly) If people don't stop creeping up on me…(to TRANCE) I'm turning around and bringing you back to the Andromeda. TRANCE: Oh that's a great idea, 'cos then I can talk to Dylan about all the strange things I've been seeing you do. HARPER: I told myself to watch out for you. I wish I'd listened. TRANCE: You know, since we've got a little bit of time here we might as well find a good way to spend it. I know. I've got this really great game. It's called "Harper tells Trance everything so she can save his miserable life." Would you like to play? HARPER: I hate you. TRANCE: You're just saying that. Cut to the bridge of the Andromeda. ROMMIE is talking to HUNT. ROMMIE: I've been having difficulty tracking Satrina's movements. I can follow her for a little while then she just - drops off the radar. Shall I ask her to leave? (turns to HUNT with a smile) HUNT: (sighs) Ah no, not yet. Just… keep her under observation as best you can. What's happening on the Harper-Trance front? HUNT paces up and down the bridge. ROMMIE: Still not back from their little excursion. Though they're definitely up to something. Harper's tinkering is on overtime, and he asked me some odd questions about walking through walls. That can't be coincidence. HUNT: Rev keeps asking me when I'm going to start signing on extra crew, it's hard enough keeping track of the people we've already got and they're not nearly as tricky as our potential allies. ROMMIE: Charlemagne Bolivar? HUNT: (still pacing) Suddenly I'm reminded of my ancient history classes at the academy. The Second World War. Earth. Churchill's alliance with Stalin? ROMMIE: Even though Stalin had butchered millions of his own people, the British allied themselves with him to defeat a greater threat. HUNT: Yeah. But the really unfortunate thing is - it worked. Cut to external shot of HARPERs craft. Internal. HARPER and TRANCE are talking. HARPER: You gotta admit. Encoding data in the standing wave of a sun was freaking brilliant of me. A stroke of genius one might say. TRANCE: You may not remember, but there was a reason why you hid it there in the first place - to keep it from people like this Satrina. HARPER: Trance, you don't really think I'm gonna give her what she wants, do you? C'mon, mamma Harper's baby boy does not roll over for anybody. Well, maybe I would roll over for her - but I'm not gonna give her what she wants. TRANCE: She is not going to extract those Magog eggs out of the kindness of her own heart. HARPER: (upset) Please, please. Magog eggs. Heart. Don't say those two words in the same sentence. (takes a hit off some kind of inhaler) So, anyway, along with the Library, I'm gonna give Satrina the gift that keeps on giving. A Trojan Horse. A computer virus. It'll record the files that she's accessing and beam that back to me so we can find out what she's really looking for. That is, just before it opens up and unloads little soldier programs that'll erase all the data and crash her entire system completely. TRANCE: Won't that make her really angry? HARPER: I freakin' hope so. She is hot when she's mad. Cut to Charlemagne Bolivar's quarters. BEKA is in the foreground lying on his bed, BOLIVAR enters in the background. He is wearing silk jammies. BOLIVAR: (seeing BEKA lounging on his bed eating his food) Help yourself to anything you like. BEKA: I never thought I'd say this but I like your style, Charlemagne Bolivar. BOLIVAR: Oh good. We have that in common. (approaches BEKA) BEKA: You know what I like most about you? How you waltzed into these negotiations knowing that your hand was so strong you could just play all of your cards face up. BOLIVAR: I find it avoids misunderstanding. I show you mine, you show me yours. BEKA: That's a good strategy. But you're forgetting one thing. Not everyone on this ship is as good-natured as Dylan. If you were to double cross us, Dylan might not take it personally, but others would, and that could be very bad for you. Very bad. BOLIVAR: Beka Valentine, I like your style. BEKA: Good. We have that in common. Cut to external shot of the Andromeda. Internal HARPERs quarters. Shot of Magog eggs in SATRINAs hand. SATRINA: They're cute when they're little. HARPER: Wait a minute, that's only six of them. SATRINA: You can count. I like that in a man. Another close up of the eggs as SATRINA crushes them in her hand. SATRINA: Now. The data (she holds out her (other) hand). HARPER: Aren't you gonna take out the last six? SATRINA: Data first. HARPER: That wasn't our deal. SATRINA: No. It wasn't. HARPER hands over the data disc, which SATRINA tucks into her top. HARPER: Now take out the rest of them. SATRINA smiles and moves to kiss him, but HARPER stops her. Her smile disappears. SATRINA: Sorry. I have to go. Maybe another time. HARPER: (pulls out a gun) I knew you would stab me in the back. SATRINA: No, Harper, I pretty much stabbed you right in the front. She blows him a kiss as she dematerialises. HARPER: Come back here (pointing gun at her.)… Or not. (to self) Yes! Seven down, only six more to go. Hook, line and sinker, baby. Cut to SATRINA on board her craft, looking at the data disc. SATRINA: Hook, line and sinker. Cut to exterior of the Andromeda. Interior, HARPERs quarters. He is watching some kind of carnage on a monitor. TRANCE: Massacre recordings? Data from the Library - you did it. You really did it. You gave her the Library. HARPER: Relax Trance. My Trojan Horse, codename Seabiscuit, is on the job. The data's being sent back to us on a closed loop. Nobody but us can see it. Meanwhile, the full archive is right here, quantum encrypted. Nice, huh? TRANCE: Harper? How much do you remember from the last time that stuff was in your brain? HARPER: This isn't about Satrina, is it? You wanna know if there are things in that Library about mysterious purple babes with pointy tails? TRANCE: I don't have a tail. HARPER: Not anymore. TRANCE: Harper, please. If there is anything in that Library about me, I have to know it. HARPER: I'll tell you what I remember. I remember this temple with gold etchings, statues, silk wall hangings even. And all of this on a backwater world that I don't think even exists anymore. Or, maybe the world does exist, but I don't think the civilization exists anymore. Anyway, the point is, there were all these people worshipping a naked purple goddess, and you might say they were a little "entranced". TRANCE: (through gritted teeth) That could mean anything. Maybe they like purple. Or, maybe, your memory is even hazier than you thought. HARPER: Yeah, but, that doesn't explain why you reacted the way you did when I sang one of their hymns. Remember this little ditty … (starts "singing") TRANCE: Shhh. (he stops) Harper. You are my best friend. And because you are my friend I really need you to listen to me. Do not. Look. At the archive. HARPER: You know Trance, I liked it better when I thought you were harmless. TRANCE: (disappointed) Yeah. Me too. Something beeps in the background. HARPER rushes to it. HARPER: Oh crap. Seabiscuit has just turned into horsemeat. Trance, can you - TRANCE has gone. HARPER: Man that is so irritating. Cut to exterior shot of SATRINAs craft. It is a Magog Swarm Ship. Interior. SATRINA is watching the data on a screen. Beeping starts and the screen corrupts. Cut to interior HARPERs quarters. HARPER: Three, two, one. Hello Satrina - or should I say succubus babe? Want a beer? SATRINA materialises and storms over to HARPER. SATRINA: You lied. To me. The archive erased itself. HARPER: Well, you know - not only am I the president of the Liars Club for Men, I'm also a member. But you would know that, because you're the chair of the ladies auxiliary. And I use the term 'lady' loosely. SATRINA: (furious) Go ahead, joke. But it's not gonna be fun for very long. HARPER: Oh, and a tummy infested with Magog is so much fun. Now listen to me. You're are gonna take out those flesh eating monsters out of my gut, and then, I'll give you a clean copy of the archive. And if you don't like it, you can stick it up your data port. SATRINA: (contrite) If it were up to me I would have taken those out of you a long time ago. The truth is, this was all a test. My employer's taken an interest in you. HARPER: Your employer? Mr Tall, Dark and Scary - the living lava-lamp? SATRINA: He was impressed how you handled the Library the first time. And he's even more impressed with how you managed to get it back and protect yourself from me. He wants you to meet him, personally. HARPER: Oh yeah? Well do I wanna meet him? SATRINA: If you do all the larvae will be removed like they were a bad dream. Take the offer Harper. Think about it if you have to, but don't think too long. (turns as if to dematerialise, flickers and clutches her stomach). What's happening to me? HARPER: You know? It is amazing the stuff you find in libraries these days. Theoretical papers on dimensional rotation, phase shifting, a truly fantastic beer recipe. You see, you may think you can just pop in and out of here like the Cheshire Cat, but I don't think you understand the gravity of my situation. In fact, you don't understand the gravity of your situation. You see, (walks around SATRINA) I wonder 'what would happen if I set up an interference pattern in the gravity generators, underneath your feet?' Looks painful. Tell you what. Why don't you let Doctor Harper make it all better. HARPER removes something out of the data port on her neck and SATRINA falls to the floor. HARPER walks away examining the device. HARPER: (to self) Portable tesseract generator. One size fits all. Cut to exterior of the Maru. Interior. Harper is inserting the tesseract generator into his data port. HARPER: Okay, here goes. (once the generator is in his neck) Right - so far so good. Okay my little Magog buddies - all good things must come to an end, and unfortunately for the bad things it's pretty much the same deal. HARPER tries twice to insert his hand into his stomach. It doesn't work. HARPER: Son of a bitch! He waves his arm in temper. His arm goes through a railing. HARPER: (surprised) Alright, don't panic - the tesseract, it works. Just need a little practice, that's all. HARPER swipes his hand a couple of times through the railing. Cut to HARPERs quarters. SATRINA is lying on HARPERs bed, tied up. She wakes and pulls off her restraints. SATRINA: Idiot - you should have taken the deal. (aloud) This is Satrina, it's time. Knock them off balance. Then, find your targets. Cut to a door opening. The BLUE ALIEN growls and enters the room. The party delegates inside panic. The BLUE ALIEN fires a laser weapon, causing chaos. In another room, the WHITE ALIEN is doing the same. In a corridor, the RED ALIEN fires at TYR, who fires back. A shootout ensues. In another corridor, the GREEN ALIEN chases a man, who is hit and falls. The GREEN ALIEN leans down to attack him. The man groans. Hunt finds the man, and BEKA catches up with him. HUNT: Rommie - report. ROMMIE: (appears at HUNTs side) Dylan, his heart is missing. As if whoever killed him took it for a trophy. HUNT: Or to send us a message, what are we up against? ROMMIE: Four intruders. I opened fire but my effectors passed straight through their bodies then they disappeared. HUNT: It's Jeger all over again. Rommie, warn the delegates - Beka, let's locate our uninvited guests. Make them disappear for good. Cut to another corridor. HOHNE is nervously backing away from the GREEN ALIEN. HOHNE: I must tell you how impressed I am with the manner in which you shifted all of the particles of your body through the fourth dimension and passed through that bulkhead. A most intriguing application of Alice string rotation. Though even I have to admit my scepticism that anyone would ever be able to reproduce the effect on such a small scale with such a fine degree of control- GREEN ALIEN takes out his sword from a sheath on his back and twirls it. From behind, BOLIVAR shoots him with a laser gun. BOLIVAR: (to assassin) A sword. A trifle passé, don't you think. BOLIVAR shoots again, but a hole appears and disappears in GREEN ALIENs stomach. BOLIVAR: Nice trick, although I can't imagine you'd keep that up forever. Of course neither can I. Sooner or later one of us is going to run out of power - lets see who's first. He raises his weapon to fire again. Cut to HARPERs room. SATRINA is looking smug as HARPER materialises. SATRINA: Seamus - back already? HARPER: I see you made yourself comfortable. SATRINA: Hmm, let me guess? You tried to get the eggs out yourself and couldn't. It won't work, Harper. You have to shift your whole body, not just part of it. Besides, you've got more immediate problems. HARPER: Such as? SATRINA: Such as your friends being under attack by an army of beings who can phase through solid matter. HARPER: Your, uh, four technicolor yahoo's with the bad attitude? SATRINA: You've seen them. HARPER: Yeah, I've seen them (approaches SATRINA) but they haven't seen me. And they're not gonna. I may not have figured out how to take the eggs out - yet - but I have thought of all kinds of interesting things I can do with this rig. (stressed) I'll give you a demonstration (manic) Uh, I'll take your four pals off the ship - nonono, even better - I'll kick them out of the universe. SATRINA: Feels good, doesn't it? Knowing you can make a difference - that you can set things right. Don't you see Harper? That's what we do. We set things right. SATRINA smiles as she approaches HARPER. They kiss. SATRINA: Come with me. I'll call off the Four. And you'll have everything you want. Health. Power. Even love. HARPER is breathing erratically and is stressed. He hears distorted sound. HARPER: What is that sound? SATRINA: You can hear him, can't you? Whispering in the darkness. He's speaking to you. And all you have to do is answer him. HARPER: I can hear him. Something's…I have to go. HARPER backs away and jumps as he disappears. Cut to HUNT as he is in a corridor with some delegates. Hunt is fighting the BLUE ALIEN. He is losing. Cut to HARPER, who is walking down a corridor. His viewpoint is distorted as he uses the tesseract generator. HARPER: It's so beautiful. HARPER has a distorted view of BOLIVAR, still firing at the GREEN ALIEN, and HUNT, fighting the BLUE ALIEN. TRANCE engages the RED ALIEN. HARPER: All that power (stressed) The power to change things - Distorted view of ROMMIE fighting the WHITE ALIEN. HARPER: The power to set things right. Distorted view of all the fights taking place, and Jeger onboard another ship. HARPER: The power to kill. More flashes of the fights and Jeger. HARPER: (pained, struggling) No, no, no, I won't let you. (shouts) I won't let you do this to me! 'Cause I have the power - the power to kill your power! (to self) I can do that - I can…I can find the ship - I can kill the power. HARPER is in serious pain now. He materialises in his room. SATRINA is waiting for him. HARPER: (to SATRINA) Your ship - the one beaming power to your toys. It's attached to the Andromeda, isn't it? Shifted so we can't detect it. SATRINA: (bored) You're the one-eyed man in the land of the blind. You tell me. Cut to exterior of the Andromeda with the Magog Swarm Ship attached. Back to HARPERs room. HARPER: Alright, come on - I got a feeling your ship's gonna insist I be chaperoned. SATRINA: What? You can't take me with you, that's impossible. HARPER: (grabbing SATRINA) Lets see. Cut to corridor. BOLIVAR and the GREEN ALIEN are still fighting. BOLIVARs weapon runs out of power. He drops it. BOLIVAR: (bored) Damn. You win. Well. Time to collect your prize. BOLIVAR walks towards the ALIEN, arms out. As the ALIEN raises his sword, BOLIVAR punches him. The ALIEN falls back onto TYRs sword. TYR pulls the tesseract generator from its neck. The GREEN ALIEN falls to the floor. All this has been watched by HOHNE. BOLIVAR: (to TYR) Your timing - is improbable. TYR: You're welcome. A war cry is heard as the WHITE ALIEN appears at one end of the corridor, firing a weapon. TYR and BOLIVAR fire back. Cut to exterior of the Andromeda - the Magog Swarm Ship is still attached. Interior. HARPER and SATRINA are on board. HARPER: You really tricked this baby out, ha? Well guess what? (starts to use computer console) I got a few tricks of my own, and you're not gonna like 'em. SATRINA: Harper it's not too late. Give him what he wants, or run. (takes hold of HARPERs face) You can't fight him. HARPER: Uhuh. (sarcastic) And I thought we shared this connection, this unspoken thing. SATRINA: Harper listen to me. HARPER: Forget it! I'm done listening to you. Did you really think I'd play your stupid little games? Huh? Tempt me, scare me, kiss me, snare me? Give me a few convenient targets to try a little god-like power on and boom! All of a sudden I'm Seamus Harper, foot soldier of the apocalypse? Well, not me honey. I'm nobody's pawn. I don't even like chess. (There is a siren noise.) That would be Trojan Horse two-point-oh. The son of Seabiscuit. Sending your power supply to overload. You'd better hang on (grabs SATRINA) the feedback's gonna be a bitch. The pair materialise back in HARPERs room on the Andromeda. He removes the tesseract generator and throws it. The generator glows and crackles as feedback starts. Cut to shot of the Magog Swarm Ship glowing blue and disconnecting from the Andromeda. It explodes as we cut to HARPER and SATRINA, thrown across the room by the blast. Cut to corridor, where the WHITE ALIEN is firing on BOLIVAR, TYR, and HOHNE. It drops to the floor and sparks blue. Cut to another corridor - the RED ALIEN fighting TRANCE does the same. In the same corridor the BLUE ALIEN starts to collapse. TRANCE runs over to HUNT. TRANCE: Something's disrupting them, they can't phase in or out! HUNT: Good. HUNT shoots the BLUE ALIEN, then the RED one. They die. Cut to HARPER talking to SATRINA in his quarters. HARPER: It figures. I finally meet a girl who says she wants me and she's a dimension-shifting hell-spawn from the outer darkness. SATRINA: It's not your biggest problem really, but - you made your choice. HARPER: (disappointed) Yeah, I guess I did. Question is, what do I do with you? SATRINA: (smiling) That's an excellent question. SATRINA waves seductively as she dematerialises. HARPER: (shocked) What, wait, you can't - I took…(to self) She's gone. Cut to corridor, where the bodies of the FOUR dematerialise. HUNT and TRANCE looked shocked. HUNT: (to TRANCE) I thought you said they can't phase in or out? TRANCE: They cheated. Cut to exterior shot of the Andromeda. Interior of HARPERs room, HARPER and TRANCE sit opposite each other. HARPER takes a data disc and passes it to TRANCE. HARPER: For you. TRANCE: The Library? HARPER: Keep it, destroy it, give it to Hohne for all I care - just get it away from me. TRANCE: (concerned) You okay? HARPER: (guilty) I was tempted, Trance. I was tempted by Satrina. She offered to introduce me to old red-eyes. They gave me power… he was gonna take out my larvae? I wanted it so bad, I was willing to do anything. Almost anything - I almost even betrayed you guys, my friends. TRANCE: But you didn't though, in the end you stayed loyal. HARPER: Yeah, but not by much. I've been waiting for someone to come along and solve my problems. Rommie, Rev, Satrina. You. It's time I started helping myself. One way or another, I am gonna figure out how to get these eggs out. TRANCE: Sounds complicated. (smiles) When do we start? HARPER smiles at TRANCE. Cut to the bridge of the Andromeda. BOLIVAR is signing the commonwealth treaty. HUNT stands next to him. ROMMIE and BEKA are in attendance. BOLIVAR: That's a lovely death warrant. For both of us. HUNT: Maybe. But it might be our only life preserver in a sea of troubles. The Magog, the Drago-Kazov, and whoever the hell just tried to kill us. BOLIVAR: And so we take arms against them, is that it? And by opposing- HUNT: We end them. BOLIVAR: And after were done - then what? Complete dominion of the known worlds? HUNT: Well then -then we'll talk. HUNT hands the pen BOLIVAR used to ROMMIE. The Sabra- Jaguar insignia is placed into a display of commonwealth nations. The group look at the display. Fade out. | |
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